Too often we are so busy waiting to become what we want to be that we forget to stop, look and see that we have already become that. I listen to women, read what everybody says and wonder – why can we not be enough right here, right now. Now do not misunderstand me – ambition is great. I am an extremely ambitious woman but, what I am saying is – have we been so pretuned by society to be the perfect homemakers, mothers, have the perfect bodies and be successful in our career – all this off course while not being tired, having a social life, keeping hubby happy and having perfectly behaved children who eats organic food only, behaves at playdates, do not watch TV and enjoys educational – preferably locally made, organic – toys.
Is it just me or is all this just way too much pressure? What happened to just live and let live – when did we become this? These mothers who judge each other silently yet smile politely and pretend to be best friends when we meet up. When did everything become open for discussion on social media – family matters, fights and private conversations?
If there is one thing I hope to teach my daughter it is this – you do not need to be perfect every day, if you are happy with what you are then you are already perfect. There is no colour, only human. Respect. Do not judge. Take life slowly. Do not get caught up in this rush we call living. Enjoy the moment, swim in the river, lie on the grass and watch the clouds, build sand castles, jump over waves, laugh freely. Live beautifully.
I want my daughter to know that she is beautiful, capable and strong. That she can achieve just as much as any man. She has equal rights to any human irrelevant of social status. Most importantly, I want her to know this; you are allowed to say no – even to a grown up. You are allowed to not share if the situation calls for it. Sometimes it is okay to be rude and your personality – the way it is now, is perfect – do not allow me or anyone else to tell you otherwise.
I know that this is not the conventional way of parenting but I strongly believe I am raising another human, not another me. She is her own person and the best I can do is guide her in life to be a good human and to be the most beautiful, strongest, happiest version of her.
I find this quote from Kahlil Gibran “On Children” so inspirational and hope that I will always remember this as a guide on how to raise my children.
“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”